George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, “I sure would like to go to Disneyland.” George said, “No problem. I’ll take you there on Air Force One.”

The second kid said, “I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan’s.” George said, “I’ll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!”

The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!” George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, “But you don’t look like you are injured.” The kid says, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!”

A little girl clutching a twenty-dollar bill walked into a pet shop and
asked the proprietor in the sweetest lisp, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you have
witto wabbits?”

The shopkeeper got down on his knees, so that he was on her level, and asked
(imitating her lisp), “Do you want a witto white wabbit, a soft and fuwwy
bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute witto bwown wabbit over there?”

The little girl in turn put her hands on her knees, leaned forward and said
in a quiet voice, “I don’ tink my python weawy gives a thit!”

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather passed away, Katie rushed to her grandmother’s house to visit and comfort her 95 year old grandmother. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied ” He had a heart attack while we were making love Sunday morning”.

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex was just asking for trouble.

“Oh No” replied her grandmother, “many years ago, because of our age, we decided to make love on Sunday mornings when the church bells started to ring. The rhythm was just right, slow and even, Nothing strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong” .

She paused to wipe away a tear and continued “And if that damn ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he would still be alive today!”

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051028/ap_on_fe_st/stowaway_cat

If it was my cat I’d be on the next plane out to get her.